You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Enjoy the penises
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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