she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
