You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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