none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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