Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
