Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
