Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
