I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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