cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
