): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
