have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I lost the right to judge tonight
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
