You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
