Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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