Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
