im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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