I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
