Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
