before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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