i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
