no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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