Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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