We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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