I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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