i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
