rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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