Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
