i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
