Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
