CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
