Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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