Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
