how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
