Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
