Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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