Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
