he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
