I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
