meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
