Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
