I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
