I think my fart just growled at me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
