Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
