We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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