I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
