Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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