My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
