I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
