i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
