I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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