What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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